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Post by Jean Jondrette on Jun 22, 2008 0:59:47 GMT -5
Jean was surprised how fast Hana had caught onto the dance quickly. Well, she was a bright girl, so it didn?t greatly surprise him. He had felt so free with the mask on, as strange as it seemed. But, no one knew him with the mask, therefore he was free to love Hana without fear of Colette finding out. She had been suspicious, but nowadays, most people were.
"Jean... could... could we talk?" Hana had asked him. She had sounded nervous and fearful.
"Of course, my love. Just let me find a quiet place for us," Jean told her as he looked around.
The Opera Populaire was big, but it seemed impossible to find a quiet spot. They went across the dance floor and through the side crowds, trying to find a place. There was a secluded hallway that they could use, no one was in it and no one seemed to be using it.
This was a hallway that seemed like it was built for private talks. Jean turned to Hana and looked her in the eyes, through the cut out holes of the mask. She seemed worried and nervous. She had to tell him something important, but what? He may have been over reacting, it maybe was nothing. But what if it was...
"Hana, are you all right, you sound anxious? Is their something that?s bothering you?"
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Hana Fujioka
Chorus Girl/Boy
I'll keep you company...
Posts: 31
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Post by Hana Fujioka on Jun 22, 2008 1:42:56 GMT -5
Hana had been keeping this secret to herself for some time now, just waiting for the right time to tell Jean. How she wished for him to be happy about the news...but a little voice kept taunting her, telling her he could not be. Wherever this voice had originated from she dismissed it and prayed for happiness, his love.
Hana smiled at him when he agreed that they could talk. Following him out of the ballroom they continued on untill they found a quiet hall...some distance away. The girl did seem nervous and anxious, she looked around the hall before again focusing her gaze on Jean.
"You know I love you...more than anything in this world, right?" she questioned reaching for his hand...giving it a light squeeze.
Inhaling she did her best to smile. "Jean, I'm...we're going to have a baby."
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Post by Jean Jondrette on Jun 22, 2008 2:06:25 GMT -5
A baby? Hana was pregnant with his child and…they weren’t even married yet! Jean did not expect this to happen so soon. Sure, when Colette was dead and him and Hana had a chance to get married and move into the country, but not now. It wasn’t that he wasn’t happy, he wanted nothing more than to have a baby with Hana, but now he had to tell her. He had to tell her everything from Colette to Marie and his whole other life.
“Hana, you’re pregnant…we’ll be parents?” he said, almost speechless. She nodded happily with a smile. Jean looked into her eyes, her beautiful eyes with shone with excitement. “Hana, I have to tell you something.”
He sat them down on a bench that stood against the wall and took a deep breath. “Hana, I haven’t been entirely truthful with you. When we met in Japan and I told you about my life here in Paris, I made a few changes.” He looked at Hana, even though it pained him to do this. “Hana, I’m married with a little girl. My wife’s name is Nicolette, I call her Colette though, and we were married when we were very young, by force, mind you, in an arranged marriage. Then a year later we had our little girl, Marie, and I had to leave for Japan. When I met you I knew I was in love and I couldn’t live without you. I was planning on writing back under a false name saying I died of some illness so I could marry you and we would live in Japan. But then I got the letter from Colette saying she was diagnosed with tuberculosis and was near death, only having a few months left. After that I figured I could return with you and once she died I could marry you and take you and Marie out to the country and live a perfectly normal life. But I never wanted to hurt anyone, you would find out eventually, but I couldn’t tell you now because I thought you’d hate and not love me anymore. That’s why I lied to you, Colette and Marie. And I’ve been taking pills to help me stay focused on all this, but they make things worse and I don’t know what to do! Oh Hana you must hate me now!”
Jean was heavily breathing now. He watched Hana’s face for an expression, anything that could tell him what she thought. He realized for the first time he was on his knees in front of her. “Please, Hana, if you hate me now, at least forgive me for lying. But if you don’t, marry me, you're the love of my life. As soon as my other marriage is over, then we can live with our children in the country, where all are troubles aren’t, they’ll be in Japan, in the city and we’ll be happy. Oh Hana, I’ll shut up if you’ll say something, I beg of you!”
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Hana Fujioka
Chorus Girl/Boy
I'll keep you company...
Posts: 31
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Post by Hana Fujioka on Jun 27, 2008 21:40:27 GMT -5
Removing her mask Hana looked to Jean waiting for his reaction. He commented on how they would be parents and she gave a happy smile and nod. Jean seemed so far from happiness, he gave no smile nor embrace and Hana felt sorrow fill her heart.
"Hana, I have to tell you something."
What could it be? Hana sat beside Jean on the bench her gaze curious and sad. Whatever he was about to tell her she sensed would be difficult for them both to overcome. He told her of another woman...his wife. Who he had left behind during his time in Japan. The two had a small child and now this unfortunate woman was sick...near death. Oh, unhappy day! Hana's thoughts trailed back to Japan, to the family she herself had left behind. Hana had literally run away from her okiya and the hanamachi to be with Jean. They would not want her back, ever. An outcast of her country and an outsider to his, where did she belong? At his side...that was the answer she knew in her heart. Hana loved this man beyond any doubt and she couldn't hate him....not forever, and she let him know this by her actions.
Jean was suddenly on his knees, his breathing labored. "Jean.." she whispered attempting to calm him, gently she placed her hands on his shoulders. Her gaze on him was comforting yet undeniably hurt. "From the beginning you've lied to me?"she asked in disbelief. "You didn't have to lie to me..." In Japan it was customary for a man to have a wife as well as a mistress, Jean knew that full well. Hana had believed herself free from that fate with Jean. As a young girl she had hoped to be a mans first and only. But as her okiya 'mother' had once told her... ' It is not for geisha to want...it is not for geisha to feel, do not expect happiness...it's not something we deserve.' Those words now made sense and Hana's eyes began to water. Noting that they were alone Hana slowly pulled back Jean's mask. Now she understood why he kept her locked away.
Did he not care at all for his wife? He spoke so bluntly as if he desired her death that very moment, but in the pit of her soul she also desired it. A sin, the thought of ruining this family distraught her. "No matter what, I love you." she whispered into his ear leaning forward pressing a light kiss to his lips, a gentle caress. "All I ever wanted was for me to be yours and for you to be mine...for us to have this child." she took his right hand and pressed it to her abdomen. Tears slipped down her pale cheeks as she looked into his eyes. "Your wife needs you now, please go to her...and love her." That had been the hardest thing to say...she so desperately wanted to be with him tonight and always. Nicolette and Marie deserved him so much more than she. Hana pulled away from his grasp, her heart torn.
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Post by Jean Jondrette on Jun 28, 2008 17:44:14 GMT -5
Jean stood up and called to Hana. "Hana, wait, please don't leave me," she was up a head, but she turned around to look at him. Jean walked up to her and held her hand. "I know you must feel terrible now, but you must listen. Being with you has made me happier than I thought possible, but that doesn't mean I don't love my wife. She's probably my dearest friend and I wouldn't have made it this far in this bourgeois society without her. Lovely and touching as that sentimen sounds, it isn't a good reason to be married to someone. All of my life, everything I did, everything I wore and everything I said was planned by my parents, advisors and whatnot. I hated that arranged life, unfortunately, my marriage was arranged and it was something that I didn't choose to happen. Do you understand?"
Hana by now was looking at his eyes, with comfort and care, at least from Jean's point of view they were.
"I want you to know, that loving you, caring for you, wasn't arranged. I did that on my own and frankily, that was the best decision of my life and I'm not going to ruin it for myself." Jean got on his knee. "Hana Fujioka, will you be my bride? Will you join me in unity for the rest of our lives, to love our children and their children? But most of all, love me, that's all I ask."
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Hana Fujioka
Chorus Girl/Boy
I'll keep you company...
Posts: 31
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Post by Hana Fujioka on Jun 28, 2008 20:11:43 GMT -5
"Do you understand?"
What a question! Did she understand? Yes, of course she did! In the past few years Hana had learned so much about him, their were striking similarities between their lives. Perhaps that was one of the reasons why she was so attracted to him, like a moth to a flame. As Jean had just mentioned, his life had always been controlled by his parents and those around him. Her own life had been controlled by her own parents who sold her to the okiya she once lived in, every single woman and man she came across in the hanamachi had controlled her life. They had decided she would train to be geisha...they too decided her clothing...whom she spoke to and the very day she would lose her virginity. These were all bitter memories and she loathed each and every one, she had been born a poor farmers daughter near Mt. Fuji. Her life should have been so different than what it had turned out to be. In this case she wondered how things would now be if her father had kept her. One thing was for sure, she and Jean would have never met, meeting Jean was the only good thing that had come out of becoming geisha. Oh, yes....Hana understood exactly what Jean was telling her.
Hana gazed into his lovely eyes with compassion but with a smidgen of contempt. He called his wife his dearest friend and that was fine but was she also not his friend? Like Nicolette to him Jean had been to her, keeping her sane from the daily agony of who she had been. A fragile doll or caged bird who was condemned into being what others wanted. Then she realized Jean was just like the rest of them...the only difference was that she loved him. Hana sighed as Jean kneeled....she knew what was coming.
"Hana Fujioka, will you be my bride? Will you join me in unity for the rest of our lives, to love our children and their children? But most of all, love me, that's all I ask."
Yes! Hana wished to cry and press another kiss to his lips but she did no such thing. He had kept her locked in the apartment like the bird in it's cage...alone and without freedom. Jean had feared what others around him would think or say...he loved his mistress a foreign prostitute, it wasn't hard to figure it out. Hana doubted they could ever be happy here even if his wife were to die and they marry. Guilt would be all she could feel, when she would look at Jean and his little daughter. His daughter! What would his little darling think of the affair? Hana wouldn't be able to look at the child without guilt.
"It cannot be...not now you must understand" Hana again left his grasp stepping back slightly and replacing the mask again over his face. "You wouldn't want to be seen with me and I no longer wish to hide." Her gaze fell to the floor and she thought of the child she carried...what would their love child's fate be? A sudden urge to return home to Japan crossed her mind....but what would that solve, absolutely nothing. "I love this child and you Jean...I am certain I would love Marie too but I cannot live with the guilt of knowing I ruined your family." Again tears emerged from her eyes and she too fell to her knees, her thin arms clasping around Jean into an embrace...Hana was still very much a child herself.
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Post by Jean Jondrette on Jun 28, 2008 21:05:47 GMT -5
"You are not responsible for ruining my family. It was never ruined!" said Jean going to Hana's level. "The only thing you could do is improve my family, you and our child," said Jean putting his hand to Hana's abdomen. "How would you have ruined my family anyway. If I never met you, Colette would've still died and I would be alone. You could only improve my life and I don't want you ever bringing yourself down, you don't deserve it, no one does! I don't care what they told you in Japan, you are in control in your life and you are equal to everyone. If we marry and other rich people look down at you, I'll be there to protect you and anything they would say to you they are saying it to me."
Jean helped Hana off the ground as he wiped away her tears. He put his brow against hers and whispered, "If we marry, you will not have to hide. You will never have to hide with me, for I will show you off to the world as my wife, my partner, my love and no matter what they say, I'll still be there."
He kissed her lips, tenderly and fully. Jean loved her beyond words and he couldn't express it enough. He pulled away and continued. "We cannot marry today, we cannot marry tomorrow... but we will and the world will now of our love and nothing will stand in our way!"
At that moment, that precise moment, Jean shred the last of his wanting to hide Hana. He wanted to go back to the ball and dance without the masks and have a good time. But he knew that could never be. It wouldn't bring him and Hana together quicker, but it was a thought that would come alive soon enough.
Jean looked deep into Hana's piercing black eyes. "Hana, I ask you, will you marry me, if I promise to set you free and let you live as you've never lived before? Free and unafraid?"
He stared longingly as he waited for her answer.
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Hana Fujioka
Chorus Girl/Boy
I'll keep you company...
Posts: 31
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Post by Hana Fujioka on Jun 29, 2008 12:54:11 GMT -5
Somehow even after all of this Jean was still able to bring her spirits up. Their brows touched and Hana looked to him with a soft smile. They also shared a loving kiss one which she wished to stay in forever. He pulled away but she held his hands in hers for she indeed felt safe and loved with him.
"Hana, I ask you, will you marry me, if I promise to set you free and let you live as you've never lived before? Free and unafraid?"
He was clever with his words, he knew exactly what to say to get her to say yes. Not that she didn't want to say yes...but still she was wary of the whole situation. This was a question Hana had expected for a while now...when they were together the world was good and everything was right, at least before their confessions and she hoped that would continue. He spoke of freedom as if it were easy to come by and she wondered if it could be that easy. Hana wanted to believe Jean, that things would change for the best and they would be together. After all that's all she wanted and she also thought that was what Jean wanted.
"Yes Jean, when we are able I will marry you." Hana told him longing for that day.
(((Continued in: Le Bal Masque)))
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